Is it me or are we becoming more self-centred and self absorbed as a culture?
Over the last two weeks or so I seem to have been involved in a number of professional and personal conversations in which the 'other party' as either displayed a paucity of listening skills or a penchant for wanting to monopolise the conversation with 'their stuff'.
To put this in some sort of quantifiable context, I'd say that out of the several dozen conversations I have had in the last week only a three or four of them have involved any meaningful sharing of perceptions and questions. The focal point of the conversation becoming the emotions, challenges, needs and desires of the other person.
In many cases even the pleasantry of 'how are you?' or 'how are you doing?' has been relegated to a closing 'oh by the way...' throw away question at the end of the conversation as the people concerned have been getting ready to leave.
Are you a Me Me Person?
Here's a few simple questions to helpyou decide...
How soon after the start of the conversation do you ask questions about the other persons wellbeing?
When you ask such questions do you really listen and reflect upon what they tell you OR do you use their answers as a segue into YOUR stuff?
When asked 'How are things?' do you unload your stuff without pause or consideration for the listener?
How much of any conversation is about YOU?
Do you 'stomp all over' the other persons comments or questions with your own free-flowing monologue?
Do you really CARE about the people you are in conversation with?
Alan
Over the last two weeks or so I seem to have been involved in a number of professional and personal conversations in which the 'other party' as either displayed a paucity of listening skills or a penchant for wanting to monopolise the conversation with 'their stuff'.
To put this in some sort of quantifiable context, I'd say that out of the several dozen conversations I have had in the last week only a three or four of them have involved any meaningful sharing of perceptions and questions. The focal point of the conversation becoming the emotions, challenges, needs and desires of the other person.
In many cases even the pleasantry of 'how are you?' or 'how are you doing?' has been relegated to a closing 'oh by the way...' throw away question at the end of the conversation as the people concerned have been getting ready to leave.
Are you a Me Me Person?
Here's a few simple questions to helpyou decide...
How soon after the start of the conversation do you ask questions about the other persons wellbeing?
When you ask such questions do you really listen and reflect upon what they tell you OR do you use their answers as a segue into YOUR stuff?
When asked 'How are things?' do you unload your stuff without pause or consideration for the listener?
How much of any conversation is about YOU?
Do you 'stomp all over' the other persons comments or questions with your own free-flowing monologue?
Do you really CARE about the people you are in conversation with?
Alan
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1 comments:
Ahh... Yes...
The question can also be asked... Can you hear yourself speak? When you can, 'me','we' and 'you' take their nature place. If you can't, you're talking to yourself and no one else is included. Which is most useful to 'You'!
Liz
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